Importance of Cleanliness

So I consider myself a fairly clean person, I like to keep a tidy house and yes I do think about what types of germs are living on every surface in my home.
 I don't over do it though, at least I don't think I do. I make sure I don't cross contaminate when making meals, I make sure the counters are always wiped with disinfectant, and I wont let the kids share their drinks or food that they suck on.
So because of this does it mean I am an overprotective parent or afraid of germs?
In my mind I feel I am doing the right thing, I realize that little dirt never hurt any body and it will help build up immune systems, so I don't over clean, and I also know that keeping a clean house is good so there isn't too many bad germs and to teach the children the importance of organization and responsibility.
I know that when the cleaning gets in the way of spending quality time with your family that you are over doing it, because honestly cleaning is not important if you only get a short amount of time to spend with you child. The mess will continue to be there waiting for you when your child is in bed.

Happy Again

This is the happiest I have felt in a LONG time and its GREAT! Granted I still have my days where I can be bitchy or not so happy, but for the most part I just feel content. I made the decision to break it off with my fiance about a month ago and since that happened things just seem to be falling into place better.I seem to be getting my finances a little under control. I finally made an appointment to go and talk to a councilor, and I have finally figured out that I do not need to hold back in a relationship. I need to keep it all out in the open, even if it causes a little tiff I know that a little tiff is better then getting into a screaming match! I finally know that now I need to take more time for myself and I need to do what I want to do and now what everyone else wants me to do. I finally do not care what others think of me, I am going to be me whether people like it or not. Not that I am saying I dont want any friends but if my friends are not going to take me for everything that I am flaws and all then I dont need them. Since I have been happy I am finally losing weight, I have been trying for almost 4 years and now that I am happy I am finally losing. Not a lot but enough to make me happier :D Hopefully it all continues to go well, but I would like to give a  piece of advice.... If you are unhappy in your relationship don't just sit around and wait for it to get better, work your ass off to make it what you want it to be. And if your partner isn't putting in the effort that you are then it is time to sit down for a nice long talk to get on the same page. You have to put in what you want out of it. Thats all I have for today I guess :D

Sun in my Window

Those mornings that I wake up to the sun gleaming through my window are the best mornings! It feels warm and happy, listening to the birds chirping and the smell of the wet grass drying there is just something so relaxing about it. Even if the day turns out to be gloomy and raining you still had a great wake up and its pretty hard for your day to be bad after that. Don't get me wrong, I HATE it when a day turns gloomy after a sunny morning, but I am always just in a better mood when the sun wakes me up rather then the sound of rain. Any ways that's my thought of the day.

Still Learning Motherhood

My daughter is almost 4 years old and I am still learning how to be a good mother. I still make mistakes and I learn from them everyday. I hear all of these new mothers who are pregnant or just had a new born baby that are worried they wont be a good mother. Well I am hear to tell you that just the fact that you are worried about being a good mother means you will be a fabulous mother. All it takes to be a good mother is lots of love. You are going to make mistakes, you are going to wanna tear your hair out, you are going to cry and your child is going to get angry at you no matter what kind of parent you are, and its ok because that is what being a parent is all about. Just remember as long as you are willing to give your child all of the love you are capable of giving then you will be the best mom in the world. There is no such thing as a perfect Mom, but you can be the perfect mom for your child. And just remember being a good mom also means taking time for yourself, having time to yourself is just as important as being there for your child. Well thats all i have to say for today :D

Days like these

As much as people say they hate the days where its raining and gloomy and possible thunder and lighting showers, I LOVE the occasional day like this. Besides the fact that the children can't go out side and play its great. Especially when its a warm day and rain on top of that. I take full advantage of the inside days. There is just something about the atmosphere that I love. It seems so serene and calm even when its not. Its the perfect day to break out the "hot" chocolate for the kids, have a movie day and build a nice big for in the living room. And its a good day to make soup or stew if you are craving it :D

Running a daycare

There are days when I want to pull my hair out, and then there are days where I love my job and can't wait to get the day started. Oddly enough today is one of the days that I can't wait for. And its a Monday no less :D I have a few things planned for the children to do today that are just as much fun for me as they are for them. Its great because it keeps them busy and me on my toes.

A new chapter?

Well it is official, I just broke up with my fiance. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life. I keep wondering if this was the best decision and if it is whats best for my daughter. She is always my main concern in everything, I want to provide the best life for her as I possibly can. I always used to think that the best for her that I could provide would be a life with her Mother and Father living together and being a family. Then I realized one day when my daughter started to mimick me from when her father and I have fights. When I heard her talk the way and act the way that I do when I am fighting my heart sank and it made me realize that she remembers everything and it is taking an impact on what she will grow up to be. I love her father, I always have and I always will, but at this moment I feel that whats best for her is her father and I to be seperated. I want to make sure that her father will get to see her as much as he can, I will NEVER keep her away from him. I want to try and have a civil relationship between us and not fight because if we fight after we have broken up then it defeats the purpose. And I want time for her father and I to work on ourselves and really think exactly what we were together for and to maybe notice the things we did for each other that we took for granted. I just want everyone I know that reads this blog that this is not all of her fathers fault. I am just as much to blame as he is, I have been a difficult person lately and I have kept myself distant from him and have had problems opening up to him. I know I can be to wound up and sometimes i bring the stress on myself. And all I can say is I really HOPE I am doing the right thing and that I haven't just made the biggest mistake of my life. I hope not, because the pain and panic attacks that I keep having better be worth it, I better end up happier whether it means we end up together in the end or not. I just really hope he understands and will one day realize that I have all of our best interests at heart, and right now it just seems like I'm heartless and don't care but thats not the case.