Congratulations

I would like to take the time to post a congratulations to my friends Kevin Patch and Amber Timmons on there beautiful baby Girl Loganne :D I am so happy for the both of you! I hope you guys enjoy your time with her while she is small... it wont last long!

Getting discouraged

I have been working out and eating healthy for a week now, I have been staying on track and following through with getting up early and working out... At the beginning of the week I weighed myself  to see where I was starting, our scale has a body fat percentage stat on it. So after the week of working out everyday even when I was sore I decided to weigh myself again before I ate or anything and I have gained a pound and my body fat percentage went up! WHY! I have been SO good I have worked really hard, I have slipped up once or twice but i was never that bad and I tried to work out more to contradict that. I want to stay on track and stay motivated but why is the scale showing NO progress!! I'm frustrated! I guess that all

Starting Over

So I just finished a 45 minute work out outside while the children were napping and I have to say I feel great! I might be a bit sore tomorrow but honestly it is totally worth it! I love having more energy and feeling better about myself... even if I can't see any results yet i know that they are happening every time I make a healthy decision! I also know that if I continue to make the healthy decisions that I will be happier and have more energy. I am no longer going to focus on losing weight... I am going to focus on being healthy at no matter what weight I am at, and not only am I making healthy decisions I am also making good decisions about making myself a better person. I am going to counciling for some things that have been bothering me for a while that have been making my life harder to tolerate and I have just been miserable. Thats one of the reasons why me and my ex broke up, we are finally getting back to where we used to be... we are laughing again, enjoying eachothers company, we no longer yell at eachother all the time and we finally learning how to communicate and be 50/50 in the relationship! And now that we have come as far as we have we have decided that it is time for him to move back in. I am really excited about this decision but I am also scared, I want things to work and I do not want things to go back to the way that they were. I just hope that we can both stick to our plans and keep moving forward!

Importance of Cleanliness

So I consider myself a fairly clean person, I like to keep a tidy house and yes I do think about what types of germs are living on every surface in my home.
 I don't over do it though, at least I don't think I do. I make sure I don't cross contaminate when making meals, I make sure the counters are always wiped with disinfectant, and I wont let the kids share their drinks or food that they suck on.
So because of this does it mean I am an overprotective parent or afraid of germs?
In my mind I feel I am doing the right thing, I realize that little dirt never hurt any body and it will help build up immune systems, so I don't over clean, and I also know that keeping a clean house is good so there isn't too many bad germs and to teach the children the importance of organization and responsibility.
I know that when the cleaning gets in the way of spending quality time with your family that you are over doing it, because honestly cleaning is not important if you only get a short amount of time to spend with you child. The mess will continue to be there waiting for you when your child is in bed.

Happy Again

This is the happiest I have felt in a LONG time and its GREAT! Granted I still have my days where I can be bitchy or not so happy, but for the most part I just feel content. I made the decision to break it off with my fiance about a month ago and since that happened things just seem to be falling into place better.I seem to be getting my finances a little under control. I finally made an appointment to go and talk to a councilor, and I have finally figured out that I do not need to hold back in a relationship. I need to keep it all out in the open, even if it causes a little tiff I know that a little tiff is better then getting into a screaming match! I finally know that now I need to take more time for myself and I need to do what I want to do and now what everyone else wants me to do. I finally do not care what others think of me, I am going to be me whether people like it or not. Not that I am saying I dont want any friends but if my friends are not going to take me for everything that I am flaws and all then I dont need them. Since I have been happy I am finally losing weight, I have been trying for almost 4 years and now that I am happy I am finally losing. Not a lot but enough to make me happier :D Hopefully it all continues to go well, but I would like to give a  piece of advice.... If you are unhappy in your relationship don't just sit around and wait for it to get better, work your ass off to make it what you want it to be. And if your partner isn't putting in the effort that you are then it is time to sit down for a nice long talk to get on the same page. You have to put in what you want out of it. Thats all I have for today I guess :D

Sun in my Window

Those mornings that I wake up to the sun gleaming through my window are the best mornings! It feels warm and happy, listening to the birds chirping and the smell of the wet grass drying there is just something so relaxing about it. Even if the day turns out to be gloomy and raining you still had a great wake up and its pretty hard for your day to be bad after that. Don't get me wrong, I HATE it when a day turns gloomy after a sunny morning, but I am always just in a better mood when the sun wakes me up rather then the sound of rain. Any ways that's my thought of the day.

Still Learning Motherhood

My daughter is almost 4 years old and I am still learning how to be a good mother. I still make mistakes and I learn from them everyday. I hear all of these new mothers who are pregnant or just had a new born baby that are worried they wont be a good mother. Well I am hear to tell you that just the fact that you are worried about being a good mother means you will be a fabulous mother. All it takes to be a good mother is lots of love. You are going to make mistakes, you are going to wanna tear your hair out, you are going to cry and your child is going to get angry at you no matter what kind of parent you are, and its ok because that is what being a parent is all about. Just remember as long as you are willing to give your child all of the love you are capable of giving then you will be the best mom in the world. There is no such thing as a perfect Mom, but you can be the perfect mom for your child. And just remember being a good mom also means taking time for yourself, having time to yourself is just as important as being there for your child. Well thats all i have to say for today :D

Days like these

As much as people say they hate the days where its raining and gloomy and possible thunder and lighting showers, I LOVE the occasional day like this. Besides the fact that the children can't go out side and play its great. Especially when its a warm day and rain on top of that. I take full advantage of the inside days. There is just something about the atmosphere that I love. It seems so serene and calm even when its not. Its the perfect day to break out the "hot" chocolate for the kids, have a movie day and build a nice big for in the living room. And its a good day to make soup or stew if you are craving it :D

Running a daycare

There are days when I want to pull my hair out, and then there are days where I love my job and can't wait to get the day started. Oddly enough today is one of the days that I can't wait for. And its a Monday no less :D I have a few things planned for the children to do today that are just as much fun for me as they are for them. Its great because it keeps them busy and me on my toes.

A new chapter?

Well it is official, I just broke up with my fiance. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life. I keep wondering if this was the best decision and if it is whats best for my daughter. She is always my main concern in everything, I want to provide the best life for her as I possibly can. I always used to think that the best for her that I could provide would be a life with her Mother and Father living together and being a family. Then I realized one day when my daughter started to mimick me from when her father and I have fights. When I heard her talk the way and act the way that I do when I am fighting my heart sank and it made me realize that she remembers everything and it is taking an impact on what she will grow up to be. I love her father, I always have and I always will, but at this moment I feel that whats best for her is her father and I to be seperated. I want to make sure that her father will get to see her as much as he can, I will NEVER keep her away from him. I want to try and have a civil relationship between us and not fight because if we fight after we have broken up then it defeats the purpose. And I want time for her father and I to work on ourselves and really think exactly what we were together for and to maybe notice the things we did for each other that we took for granted. I just want everyone I know that reads this blog that this is not all of her fathers fault. I am just as much to blame as he is, I have been a difficult person lately and I have kept myself distant from him and have had problems opening up to him. I know I can be to wound up and sometimes i bring the stress on myself. And all I can say is I really HOPE I am doing the right thing and that I haven't just made the biggest mistake of my life. I hope not, because the pain and panic attacks that I keep having better be worth it, I better end up happier whether it means we end up together in the end or not. I just really hope he understands and will one day realize that I have all of our best interests at heart, and right now it just seems like I'm heartless and don't care but thats not the case.

Friends

I love the fact that I can always count on my friends. No matter what happens in my life and what changes I make to myself or in my life my TRUE friends are always there for me 100%. Whether it is to cheer me on or tell me I'm an idiot :D, and it doesn't even matter if I havnt had time to talk to one of my best friends because when we see each other or we talk again we don't miss a beat. Its like we have been together the whole time, all I really want to say is I love all of my friends! And I don't know what I would do without any of you :D

Here I go Again!

So I know I have said this many times and I always lose my will power and I am back to where I started, so for now I am not going to count calories, I am not going to exercise all day everyday, I am just going to focus on living a healthier life style, instead of eating out I am going to make sure I make a healthy dinner every night and I will watch my portions. And when it comes to the choice of either to sit and watch tv or to go for a walk... I am going to choose to go for a walk! I want my whole family to live a healthier life style and I need to make the first step towards that. I am not looking to become thin as a bean pole! I am just looking to be healthy, no matter what weight I am at. I am not saying that I don't want to lose weight because I do, I just dont want to spend all my time and effort focusing on every pound I gain or lose. So hopefully all goes well! Wish me Luck!

Loves when my daughter chooses the healthy choice.

So last night when we were at my parents house for coffee they offered my daughter some timbits, and she turned them down! I was just as suprised as everyone else was, she asked for cheese instead. I was just thinking that she wanted cheese then and she would be back to her old self today. Well today my daughter is choosing all of the healthy stuff instead of the junk! It makes me so proud, she is eating cucumbers, apple sauce, cheese, and carrots! I hope that this health kick of hers stays and maybe influences me a bit to eat healthier!

Friends

I was laying in bed on my lazy Sunday, when I heard the doorbell ring. The first thing that came to my mind was "Oh no! Who is here now!" The first thing I heard out of my daughter was excitement. When my fiance answered the door there was Emma's little friends asking if Emma could come out and play. Ever since we have lived at our new place there have been 2 little girls who come to our house quite a bit and ask if emma can go out and play. My daughter is 3... she will be 4 in 2 months, i did not thing that my daughter would have girls coming to the door until she was in school at least, all of that aside all I can think about is when i was a child and I had friends come to my door and ask if I could out and play, and still to this day i remember my friends and talk to them on occasion and I can't help but wonder if this is a start of a long life friendship between my daughter and her friends. All i know is they will be remembered by her for the rest of her life.

Saturdays!

Do you ever notice that you work all week looking forward to when the weekend comes and when it finally comes you seem busier on the weekend then you did during the week. Although the busy on the weekend is the best because its not work, its spending time with family, and friends and getting some much needed work done on the house or whatever else it is that you have been forgetting about. And it is even better in the summer because you can do all of this and GET A TAN! Although I have been wondering where the hell our summer is, I have been waiting and waiting and then we get a couple of hot days and then.... it rains again! Lots of fun! Anyways until next time I suppose!

One of Those Day

One of the hardest things about my job is on days like these. It is a Friday and I am done for the week, any Mom out there will understand that their are just days when you wish all of the responsibilities of a Mom could go flying out the window and you could sleep in, and watch whatever you want to watch on T.V, eat when you want to eat and clean when you want to clean. Being a Mom and a Daycare provider I not only have to look after my own daughter but other peoples children as well. Don't get me wrong I love my job and I love working with children, its a great feeling knowing that I am part of their lives and I am helping mold their the way they grow up. Lets take a look at a normal day for me.

7:00am-7:30am- Wake Up & Shower
8:00am- Emma wakes up and my First kid arrives
8:15am- Make breakfast for Emma
8:30am- Get Emma Dressed, brush her teeth and do her hair ( in between all of these step I am normally cleaning up ie: kitchen, make beds ect.)
9:00am- Finish Cleaning
10:00am- SNACK TIME! (the kids favorite part of the day)
10:30am- Clean up from snack and then the kids pick what they want to do.
11:30am- Lunch Time
12:00pm- Nap Time (YAY!!)
During Nap Time I finish cleaning and depending on the day I can sit and watch some TV or Clean some more.
2:00pm- Wake Up and another Snack
At this point if the weather is nice we go outside for the rest of the day and when its nice we play in the pool until its just about home time.
5:00pm or 5:30pm- The last kid has gone home and I am starting dinner.
6:00pm- Clean Up from dinner
6:30pm- 7:30pm- Some quality time with my daughter and fiance
7:30pm- Bed Time routine for Emma (this includes a bath every other night, pajama time, brush teeth and clean up if needed, then some down time and off to bed.)
8:30pm- Emma is finally in bed and I am ready to relax!
This schedule does not include the hectic days when I have a house full of children and the days when I have doctors appointments and dentist appointments and shopping and all those fun things :D
Well I am off to do some more chores and play with the children. Until Next Time